So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
