that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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