I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
