Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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