physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
