I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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