What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize