just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
