i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Damn victory sex feels great
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
