why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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