Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
