Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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