Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Text me some of your sweat
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
