I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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