So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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