Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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