just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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