I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
