You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize