dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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