Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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