Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
