is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
