so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
