**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
