Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Actions speak louder than pants.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
