sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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