On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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