you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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