why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
