so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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