so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
