I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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