I wish i was in the wii world.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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