Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
