I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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