I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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