Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize