loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
