This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
