She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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