Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
