it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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