So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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