What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
