What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
