I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
