My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
