Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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