I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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