I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
