morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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