We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
