your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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