I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
