I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
