Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
ttyl tear gas
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
