I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
