I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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