so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
