Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
