I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize