hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i dont even know how to be here
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Terrible idea I love it
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
