community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
