What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
there is glitter all over my balls
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize