so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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