Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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