you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize
