There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
