I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
