Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
