I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
